


The Case of the Devon Exile

by stardust_made



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Epistolary, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Watson must have put his foot down once or twice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_made/pseuds/stardust_made
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Watson, I confess I continue to be exceedingly perplexed as to what constitutes ‘a damn good letter’. Holmes"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Case of the Devon Exile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nausicaa83](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa83/gifts).



> Written for [](http://nausicaa83.livejournal.com/profile)[](nausicaa83.livejournal.com/)**nausicaa83** who bought one of my Help Nepal fics and requested Victorian Holmes and Watson. This is lighthearted and a bit tongue-in-cheek. I know it's the month of May so I hope this makes you smile.♥ Thank you for your generosity!

_(The following is the content of a bunch of letters found wrapped up in a sheet of paper dated ‘August 1900’.)_

 

19 August 1900

Watson,

I confess I continue to be exceedingly perplexed as to what constitutes ‘a damn good letter’. 

Holmes

***

20 August 1900

Watson,

I am sitting on a big piece of rock. The water is dark blue, Navy Blue, to be precise - the colour is aptly named. The surface is calm, from which you can deduce that there is no wind. It is eleven o’clock in the morning. I have heard Lynton being described as a charming place. 

Sherlock Holmes

***

21 August 1900

Dear Watson,

I am writing from the room in the inn. It is rather cluttered. There are six pieces of furniture altogether. I can list them on request. The room is approximately 20ft wide to 13ft long. It is nine o’clock in the evening. I am wearing my dressing gown and am currently positioned sitting on my bed. The weather was the same today as it was yesterday and the day before. Would you like me to offer more details on it?

Yours, 

Sherlock Holmes

***

23 August 1900

My dear Watson,

I am back on the cliffs. The colour of the water is closer to Prussian blue today. There is a light breeze. I believe you would enjoy it. It is six o’clock in the evening. My new shoes are not made for walking. I have eaten four times in the last two days. This makes it evident that the case was solved last night so I am at liberty to return to Baker Street.

Yours, 

Sherlock Holmes

***

24 August 1900

My dear Watson,

I had resolved to wait for two more days before I wrote to you again, in the hope of there being some correspondence back from you finally on the way. I endeavoured to write you this message only because I have some concerns that my words about the case in my letter from yesterday might be taken as a breach of the terms of your request. (Although I find ‘demands’ the more accurate word.) 

At the time I thought necessary to mention it. However, upon further reflection on this matter and a couple of others – it is surprising how much time I have at my disposal to contemplate various subjects without you in my presence to distract me – upon further reflection, Watson, I concluded that my statement indicating I was free to return to Baker Street would have sufficed to inform you that I had solved the case and it was not necessary for me to mention it explicitly. I shall be obliged to you if you could strike that sentence from my last letter and accept my apologies. I shall not mention the case again.

May I return to Baker Street?

Yours, 

Sherlock Holmes

***

25 August 1900

My dear Watson,

I was glad to receive your letter in response to mine from 23 August, even in its uncharacteristic shortness. A single line, my dear fellow? I never thought you capable of such succinct expression in the epistolary form. (That most certainly does not apply to other forms of communication between us.) 

Let me attempt an adequate response to your request. (Or is it instructions this time?) After giving the matter some consideration I can say with great conviction that since my arrival, I have come across seventeen things you would find to your liking (excluding the breeze that prompted your response) and seven to your disliking. Here are two separate lists, on separate sheets so you might examine them and send them back with your notes. I do not expect any, if only for the fact of your not being here to be able to correct or agree. But my current situation of exile is perhaps a sound reminder that I should never take my expectations of you for granted. Nor, and that gets me to the bedrock of this unpleasant matter between us—you. I am sorry, Watson. 

I sincerely hope the lists will suffice and I will be permitted to return. I am prepared to make a case for each item on both lists, but I thought I should do so in person. In the meantime, I hope you have helped yourself to my tobacco. Unless you had a different reason to handle the Persian slipper? Its distinctive scent is unmistakable on the paper you used. You either took a long while dwelling what to say to me, absent-mindedly touching the sheet, or your fingers spent an equally long time stroking the slipper before you wrote back.

Yours,

Sherlock Holmes

 

Things Watson would not like:

\- Mr. Wythe, the tobacconist on Church Hill.  
\- His tobacco.  
\- The soap in our room.  
\- My pillow.  
\- The fact that Lynton and Lynmouth are known as ‘Little Switzerland’.  
\- The lentil soup at Pine Lodge.  
\- Doctor Roberts, the local physician.

 

Things Watson would like:

\- Mrs. Hudson’s niece, Miss Joan.  
\- Mrs. Hudson’s niece’s name.  
\- The bread at Pine Lodge.  
\- Their pork stew.  
\- The beer at The Royal Oak  
\- The new cliff railway.  
\- Mrs. Wythe, the tobacconist’s wife.  
\- The big piece of rock where I sat both times when I wrote to you and twice when I didn’t.  
\- The smell of nutmeg in the wardrobe in our room.  
\- The pillow on your bed.  
\- The view from our room’s south facing window.  
\- The three rose bushes in Miss Joan’s garden.  
\- The barber on Lee Road.  
\- The new building by Sir George Newnes.  
\- The weather.  
\- The third fisherman’s boat, right to left, as you come down to Lynmouth harbor.  
\- The case.

 

***

27 August 1900

My dear Watson,

My astonishment at finding you now confine yourself to the two words in your telegram is only rivalled by my gratitude to be their recipient. I am writing from the train as you can no doubt deduce from the different pressure on some of the letters, the accidental scratches, and the different angle of some words. You would like the paper I obtained at the post office. You would most definitely not like the pencil I am using. 

It is midday. I am inappropriately warmly dressed for the local weather. I was in a hurry to leave, but I believe my hastiness would be to my advantage in London. I shall report to you on that tonight in person when I also intend to hand you this letter. 

I remain, as I shall always be,

Very sincerely yours,

Sherlock Holmes

**Author's Note:**

> My gratitude to [Canon_Is_Relative](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Canon_Is_Relative/pseuds/Canon_Is_Relative) for her enthusiastic pom-poms - you're awesome.


End file.
